I often sit and wonder what it's like to be normal. To live in a house, to know how a television works. To get along with family. To talk on a phone. To celebrate holidays with traditions and food and friend and things. To communicate to people on a regular basis. To really have everything you'd ever need and still have greed.
Must be nice.

I'm not very sure why it is only when talking to my father that I relaize that I'm not very human.
Hrrm.
Nothing really to elaborate on that. Except for the fact that I'm not normal, and I know it.
And yes, I doubt that I'm even of the freakin' human species. I've got way more common knowledge. I swear.
Like, I feel a bit more evolved than the rest. Oh well.
I also really like how I've got life plans and can't even drive yet. Yeah. That's perfect. Just perfect.

Like I said before my dad wants me to spend all of Christmas break up there. On the mountain.
Great.
the 23rd right all the way up to January 4th.
That's me giving up comfort, sleep, and health.
I go back to school on the fifth. I'm up there until the FOURTH.
my first day of off school is the 24th. He wants us up there on the 23rd.
THE TWENTY THIRD.
I can't wait until I have some kind of control s to what I do and where I live. ecause I;ve had it with this shit. I never wanted a family, I never wanted friends. I don't need them.
I really wish I could let people walk a mile in my shoes. Because If you're [somehow] reading this. You don't know the FIRST THING About me. And the life I have to go through.
It almost makes me hope I die soon.
Forget this childhood bullshit.
I'm older than I look.
I hate Christmas.
Fuck you, Jesus. Why'd you have to go 'n be born, now?




With more thought I've come to realize why I was so okay with what I've had to put up with for the past year an a half.
I'm used to it and they were not. I'll have to tell them that too.
Oh well. It's their fault. They should have never asked. They knew what they were geting themselves into. They knew I was not normal. Fuck them and their assumptions.