I had heard from my father when I signed into AIM today, I had first seen him online, which had made my mood rise, At that moment I had felt the best that I have felt all week. I had also gotten an email reply to the one I had sent to him on Thanksgiving. Which is good.
My mental state however is still dodgy. I was convinced that my father was hurt, or dead. And it has really taken a toll on myself.
I don't think I have ever had my stress levels so dangerously high, and my mental health so devastatingly low at the same time. It causes sleeplessness, paranoia, and depression. If I had found out that my dad was in afct dead, I honestly would find no possible reason for living.
I only live to make my father proud, everything I do I do thinking 'what would my dad do?' I try tpo do everything with the very best intentions that my father would do, and what I would agree on, and what I am capable of doing. My good gardes are the inspiration of my dad, My personality is from my dad, I wish I looked a bit more like my dad, rather than my mom.
There are some people I know who remind me greatly of my dad. And I admire them so. I wish I saw them [more specifically, one of them] more often. I never see the people I want to see and be around often enough.
I never see them.
Only in photographs these days. And that's never enough.
I don't talk to them either. It is because They do not want to talk to me. I don't blame them. I can get quite annoying at times.
I don't see my dad nearly enough either.
I can't wait until I can drive a car. Then I may have more possibility of seeing the ones I love, more often.
And I don't love very many these days.
On the subject of driving, Our third of the Gym group Finished the 22 day Safey Ed [Driver's Ed.] Course, and returned to Regular Gym today. Mister Basil read the top three Grades [Because everyone was so competative]. Tanner was third With 100.2%, Patrick was second with 100.4% and..well...I was first with 100.9% [Written as 101% on my paper.]. Quite frankly I'm not suprised.
Mr.B: "And in first was Faith.....*whispers to me* How d'you say your last name?"
I guess that means I'll be a good driver.
"I'm amazed that I survived - An airbag saved my life."
-Thom yorke, Airbag
I like how I always edit my YouTube embeds so they're 319x266. Now they have a feature where you can choose the size of the embed. They have 320x265.
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